It starts before we even leave the house. What can I make with the carrots, onions, tomatoes and feta cheese left in the fridge? (The answer: curry carrot soup with tomato and feta quesadillas.) The kids thought that game was a little too spicy.
On the road, the game is all about whether you have enough change for the tolls and the squat potty attendants. We do.
But when you get to your posh hotel using the toilet is all about guessing whether what you're about to do will require the little flush button. Or the big one. Either way, is win-win because there's a seat and you don't have to scrounge for change for the attendant.
Then you go to lunch and some kid complains his spaghetti is inedible. To which you're like whhhaaatttt? How can pasta be that bad. Then, we all need to taste test it to see. And yes, it was indeed disgusting. We have found the worst spaghetti in Morocco. Maybe even the world.
Now, you would think before we travel we'd check the weather. But, no. It's more fun to just guess what the weather is going to be like, only to realize I should have packed short sleeve shirts and sunscreen. Marie 0, Weather 1.
My most favorite adrenaline rush of a game in Marrekech is guessing which kid is going to be run over by one of the hundreds of mopeds that speed through the narrow medina streets. Miraculously, there were no injuries. But that's because almost doesn't count.
Then there's trying to find a toilet anywhere in public in Morocco when you need one here. Usually, the result is you go in public behind a bush. Because that's less scary and more accessable than any Moroccan public toilet. And there's no attendant to pay.
Then there's the is-this-really-bacon game we played at breakfast. We lost. It wasn't. It was more like beef jerky.
But, we did have fun playing name-that-tune to the piano muzak piped in at breakfast. Except, we were completely stumped by one song. I'm such a loser.
Are our friends awake and ready for breakfast? We don't want to call and wake then so, why don't we just slip a note under the hotel room door?
Is watching Sponge Bob Squarepants in the hotel room in Italian educational or not? Of course it is. We win.
There's the gender bender game. Where locals try to guess whether River is a boy or a girl. And will that make him want to cut his hair? Um, no.
The will-we-get-kicked-out-of-the-roof-top-pool-if-I-bring-a-bottle-of-wine game? I covertly won that one. Well, that was a four way actually.
The what-herb-or-spice-is-in-the-jar at the apothecary game? It's scratch and sniff. Ok, it's just sniff, unless you have exema or fungus or an std.
Then there's the can-you-find-the-two-fairies in this picture? Which is very similar to Where's Waldo, but without the stripes.
Can I walk 3 miles to a garden that only has ugly loud sucking fish swimming in a murky pond and not step on millions of miniature caterpillars game? I'm pretty sure at least a handful of caterpillars were brutally murdered in this game.
The confusing game of which super cool funky painting should we buy? (The answer is 4.)
Then the final game, where you give the kids 10 Dirham (about $1.25) to see who can buy the coolest thing at the medina game. And it's totally not cool when one kid couldn't find anything to buy. Unfortunately, Ember got this super bright magic lipstick that she puts outside the boundries of her lip lines that makes her look like a drag queen with a hand tremor. I wish she were the kid who forfeited.
And then we're home. And the kids are fighting again. And there's school tomorrow.
GAME OVER.
