I'm antisocial. I always have been. It's not that I don't like people. In fact it's just the opposite. I'm amazed by people. But I'm a watcher as opposed to an engager. I value your time, so I don't want to take it up by chattering on. Plus, I've never really been capable of chattering on anyhow. While I can string coherent thoughts together in writing, I'm abysmal and extremely awkward at doing the same verbally. And I've spent most of my life believing that I'm invisible. And really just realized in the last few years I'm not.
Damn it.
Because I've always found comfort in invisibility. Or I used to. From a very early age I knew exactly how to fly under the radar. To do things both efficiently and well, but, yet go unnoticed. Taking the minimum effort route to the greatest result, but insuring my aloofness at the same time. I, of course, had no idea at the timet that's what I was doing. Or that I was doing it to shield myself and everyone else from my glaring imperfections. Because the biggest fear of a perfectionist is being exposed for who we truly are. Imperfectionists. And perfectionists don't need to ask for help, imperfectionists do.
Damn it.
Now I've outgrown my invisibility cloak. Not that I don't still long to wear it. I do, but it doesn't work anymore. A piece of me always pokes out. Sometimes I crouch to try to make it cover me. Ok, I do that a lot actually. But lately I'm trying to slowly and painfully yank it off myself. Which I'm sure makes me look more like I have multiple personalities than antisocial tendencies.
So while I've started on this path to become a writer, I figured out something. While my craft is sitting alone with my thoughts and writing them down, the path to a successful career is going to involve *gulp* socializing with people. Which completely terrifies me. And the other thing? I'm going to need help to get there.
Damn it.
So here's the moment I need to choke the words out. (Insert deep breath here.) I need help. There. I said it. While I'm starting to figure out this whole taking my writing to the next level and writing a book, I need your support.
How can you do that?
You can just keep reading.
If you like something you read, you can share it.
If I start posting less often, hopefully you can forgive me.
You can like my Facebook page.
You can send me an encouraging comment.
Holy crap! Ok, I did it. I asked for help. That wasn't so painful. Thank god I didn't have to stand up in front of you and say it in person completely naked without my cloak.
But, that's therapy for another session. Cause time's up for today!
